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Saturday, 16 December 2017

'Enough chit-chat, Santa, let's get down to business': Pushy children's hilarious letters to Father Christmas are enough to get them put straight on the naughty list.


  • Strange requests include a 'nicer brother', a new McDonalds and an assault rifle 
  • Some kids offer cookies to keep Santa happy while others threaten him 
  • Reddit users have been sharing the funniest Christmas letters online 


  • It's the time of year when kids write off to Santa to find out if they've been good this year and what sort of presents they would like as a reward. 
    As excited boys and girls pen their messages to Santa and his reindeer, the festive tradition can throw up some rather unusual requests. 
    While some kids adopt a flattering or pleading tone with Santa, others take a more aggressive stance as they order Father Christmas to fulfil their wishes. 
    Reddit users have been sharing some of the most hilarious examples.

    One letter adopted a menacing tone, telling Santa: 'You better bring my pony this year or there WILL be consequences'

    One letter adopted a menacing tone, telling Santa: 'You better bring my pony this year or there WILL be consequences'

    This girl decided to defer her present, saying she wanted a little sister, 'but not right now like in two years'
    This girl decided to defer her present, saying she wanted a little sister, 'but not right now like in two years'

    This neatly-written letter makes an unusual specification when it asks for 'a dog that poops', alongside ice cream and flip flops
    This neatly-written letter makes an unusual specification when it asks for 'a dog that poops', alongside ice cream and flip flops

    Among the more unusual presents which children hoped to find under their Christmas tree were a ghetto blaster, 'tens and ones of money' and 'a dog that poops.'
    One child wrote menacingly: 'You better bring my pony this year or there WILL be consequences.'
    Another had not forgotten a previous Christmas disappointment, saying: 'I want a real puppy this year, not like the fake one you got me last year!'
    One letter-writer began with brief pleasantries, before saying: 'Well, enough chit-chat. Let's get down to business.' 
    And he followed up with a strange set of demands when he asked for a Lego set, some jelly beans and an AK-47 assault rifle.

    This young person's wishes ranged from the innocuous to the arguably concerning, asking for Lego, sweets and an assault rifle

    This young person's wishes ranged from the innocuous to the arguably concerning, asking for Lego, sweets and an assault rifle


    This writer begins politely before opening a lengthy set of requests for real and imaginary household pets
    This writer begins politely before opening a lengthy set of requests for real and imaginary household pets

     
    This letter demanded a response as the writer left space for Santa to explain his decision on whether to give the child a present

    This letter demanded a response as the writer left space for Santa to explain his decision on whether to give the child a present

    Another child outsourced the whole operation to his father, telling Santa to get in touch with his dad and find out the present situation
    Another child outsourced the whole operation to his father, telling Santa to get in touch with his dad and find out the present situation

    Another writer had a particularly eclectic set of wishes, writing: 'Dear Santa, I would like a chainsaw, a blue bike, a trampoline, a claw machine and a cash register.'
    A joint letter also proved problematic, with children sending mixed messages to the bearded gift-bringer.
    One half of the letter tried the friendly approach, offering Santa some cookies and leaving out some carrots for his trusty reindeer.
    But their fellow letter-writer took a very different tack, informing Santa: 'Hope you crash on the way here and die on the way back.'

    This correspondent also had something of an odd mixture of requests, asking for a PS4, a new guitar, world peace... and beer

    This correspondent also had something of an odd mixture of requests, asking for a PS4, a new guitar, world peace... and beer

    There were mixed messages coming from this household as one child attempted bribery with cookies while another told Santa what they really thought
    There were mixed messages coming from this household as one child attempted bribery with cookies while another told Santa what they really thought


    This child admits to having been naughty this year but tries their luck anyway and asks Santa for a remote control train 

    One forward-thinking child had saved themselves disappointment on Christmas Day by making sure Santa included batteries with the present
    One forward-thinking child had saved themselves disappointment on Christmas Day by making sure Santa included batteries with the present

    One writer tried to get in Santa's good books by saying that 'I really do believe in you' before asking for a ghetto blaster
    One writer tried to get in Santa's good books by saying that 'I really do believe in you' before asking for a ghetto blaster

    This child asked Santa for 'something for my community', calling on Father Christmas to arrange a new McDonalds store
    This child asked Santa for 'something for my community', calling on Father Christmas to arrange a new McDonalds store
    Some of the more polite senders passed on their best wishes to the reindeer and to Mrs Claus. 
    However, one invoked Santa's wife when they told him he needed to lose some weight.
    One forward-thinking child had spared themselves a later disappointment by asking Santa to bring batteries as well as the present. 
    The kids also used various pieces of evidence to establish why they deserved presents. 
    One of them told the recipient that 'I am so good and I never say bad words, not to my parents, or the middle finger.'
    On the plus side, Santa will have Leonardo DiCaprio for company on his sleigh if he fulfils one child's dream to meet him.  


    Some children were at pains to reassure Father Christmas that they had been good this year - one informed him they never said bad words or used the middle finger

    One child took it upon themselves to inform Santa that he needed to lose weight and should 'stay away from the junk food' 
    One child took it upon themselves to inform Santa that he needed to lose weight and should 'stay away from the junk food' 


    Santa can easily sort out a remote control truck for this child but may have more trouble when he is asked to intervene between two squabbling brothers
    Santa can easily sort out a remote control truck for this child but may have more trouble when he is asked to intervene between two squabbling brothers

    Another writer did not hold back, telling Santa: 'I have three words to tell you: I hate you. You Santa did not give me the toys I wanted for Christmas'
    Another writer did not hold back, telling Santa: 'I have three words to tell you: I hate you. You Santa did not give me the toys I wanted for Christmas'
    As well as finding all the presents, Santa might find himself caught up in a planning row when he tries to get one child a new McDonalds in their town.
    One child's wishes for world peace may be admirable but perhaps more than the reindeer owner could reasonably be expected to deliver by himself.
    And Santa will get more than he bargained for in one family when he is asked to 'make my brother nicer'. 
    Still, some of the letter-writers were keener to look out for the Claus family, asking Santa to make sure that he had enough rest in between his busy holiday work schedule.

    This child was polite to Santa as they asked for a hoverboard and turkey costume, though admitting they'd 'had their moments' 

    This child was polite to Santa as they asked for a hoverboard and turkey costume, though admitting they'd 'had their moments' 

    One child had not forgiven Santa for an earlier disappointment, telling him that 'I want a real puppy this year. Not like the fake one you got me last year'
    One child had not forgiven Santa for an earlier disappointment, telling him that 'I want a real puppy this year. Not like the fake one you got me last year'

    This writer tried to be less pushy, telling Santa to 'take it easy on yourself' and that he would be happy with money as a present
    This writer tried to be less pushy, telling Santa to 'take it easy on yourself' and that he would be happy with money as a present

    Santa will have Leonardo DiCaprio as a companion on his sleigh if he is going to make this child's dreams a reality
    Santa will have Leonardo DiCaprio as a companion on his sleigh if he is going to make this child's dreams a reality

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