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Sunday, 9 September 2018

Britain's first gender-fluid family prepare for total transformation as father Louise is set to become a woman and mother Nikki will become a man called Charlie

  • Louise and Nikki Draven from Middlesborough are parents to five-year-old Star
  • Biological father Louise is called mummy by Star and is set to become a woman  
  • Pair are raising Star Cloud as a 'person' not a 'boy' letting him choose gender 
  • Couple said if waited son would grow up with parents 'who felt incomplete'
Britain's first gender-fluid family are preparing for total transformation as both parents are set to have gender reassignment operations.
Louise and Nikki Draven, who are parents to five-year-old Star Cloud, are planning to undergo the surgery and be in their 'ideal bodies' by the time their son is ten.
Biological father Louise, 32 – who Star already calls mummy  – is to become a woman and said the change has been 'a long time coming.'
Nikki (right) and Louise Draven (left) with their son Star Cloud, five, are both planning to have gender reassignment surgery
Nikki (right) and Louise Draven (left) with their son Star Cloud, five, are both planning to have gender reassignment surgery
The family have said most people are supportive but they have had some negative reaction online  who write 'horrendous comments'
Star's biological mother Nikki (pictured right) is set to undergo a female-to-male procedure and will be called Charlie
Biological father Louise, 32 (left in both pictures) is to become a woman and said the change has been 'a long time coming.' Five-year-old Star (pictured left) calls Louise 'mummy'
Star's biological mother Nikki is set to undergo a female-to-male procedure and will be called Charlie.
The couple from Middlesborough - whose son is free to play with any toys he likes and paint his nails at home - said they worry 'like all parents do.'
They said: 'If we waited until Star was older, he'd spend his childhood with parents who felt incomplete.'
Star is being raised as gender neutral - with his parents focusing on raising a 'person' not a 'boy' - is said to have a 'five-year-old's understanding' of the families situation. 
Although describing Star as well-adjusted Charlie did say he has started asking questions.
'Recently he asked why I had to wear a swimsuit at the pool and not trunks like other daddies. I tell Star mummy is going to a special doctor who will take away her ducky, which is Star's word for penis.' 
The parents are raising Star as gender neutral -  focusing on raising a 'person' not a 'boy'
The parents are raising Star as gender neutral - focusing on raising a 'person' not a 'boy'
Louise (right) - who is called mummy by Star -
 was born a man but is transitioning to be a woman
The couple's son can play with any toys he like and paint his nails at home
Biological father Louise, 32 (pictured with red hair) said 'I have doubts all the time but that's just part and parcel of my transition.' Nikki (far left and right) is transitioning  to become a man and is now known as Charlie
The little boy can play with dolls and paint his nails at home. He even cut his long hair in January but stay-at-home mother Louise said: 'He's in two minds now about whether or not he wants it long again...However he wants it is fine by us.'
Louise said of the swap op: 'I have doubts all the time but that's just part and parcel of my transition.
'No one chooses these feelings but when people do, they need the outside of their bodies to match the inside.'
Louise started preparing for the transition process in 2011 and lost 16 stone - dropping from 25 stone to a slimline nine stone - so that she can have the op in December. 
She said: 'I lost the weight because a raised BMI can cause complications with the surgery and the hormones. 
'I did it using bariatric surgery (reducing the size of the stomach), which involved a complete change of lifestyle, diet and in my relationship with food. It wasn't easy and took a lot of self-discipline but, as you can see, it's worked brilliantly.'
Five-year-old Star Cloud has been raised as a 'person' rather than a 'boy' and can choose what toys he plays with and colours he wears
Five-year-old Star Cloud has been raised as a 'person' rather than a 'boy' and can choose what toys he plays with and colours he wears
Louise started preparing for the transition process in 2011 and lost 16 stone - dropping from 25 stone to a slimline nine stone
The Dravens, married in 2012, are believed to be Britain's first entirely gender fluid family
Little Star cut his long hair into a shorter style in January and mother Louise said: 'He's in two minds now about whether or not he wants it long again...However he wants it is fine by us'
She has also shaved off her red and black hair after hormone treatment left it thinning.  
'I’ve gone for the easy-to-manage bald look. The hair doesn’t make the woman - the woman makes herself!'
Nikki, now known as Charlie, said: 'I was never happy about having periods or growing breasts. It felt all wrong. 
'So I did some soul-searching and realised I've always wanted to be male.' 
The Dravens, married in a pagan ceremony in 2012, are believed to be Britain's first entirely gender fluid family.
The couple said they worry like all parents but they said 'if we waited until Star was older, he’d spend his childhood with parents who felt incomplete'
The couple said they worry like all parents but they said 'if we waited until Star was older, he'd spend his childhood with parents who felt incomplete'
'Neither of us gets hung up on the gender we were born as,' Louise, 30, said. 'We don't want our child constrained by that either. We're just an ordinary family being who we want to be.'
Last year the Dravens spoke about their experiences and struggles with other children are imposing their views on him.
They said: 'Star is only in nursery but has already been put under pressure by other children. He came home the other day saying, 'I can't play with dolls – they're for girls'.
'We sat him down and explained that anyone can play with dolls and that it's good practice for when he grows up and is a daddy. 
'He said, 'I might not be a daddy – I might be a mammy!'
The family caused a stir after appearing on a number of TV shows last year and have had to deal with cruel comments.
Charlie said: 'Most people were pretty supportive, especially people we met in person.
'But some of the written comments were horrendous. One person wrote that we should kill Star Cloud, before he became a serial killer, committed suicide or killed us.
'Unbelievable how people could say such dreadful things about a four-year-old!'

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