Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Stormy Daniels Said Trump's Dick Looks Like Toad From Mario Kart And People Poured Bleach In Their Own Eyes

"The president is absolutely going to tweet about his Toad-shaped dick."

We regret to inform you Stormy Daniels' new book includes a particularly colorful description of President Trump's penis.

In her memoir, titled Full Disclosure, Daniels said Trump's penis is “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion," Daniels wrote in the book, a copy of which was obtained by the Guardian.

“He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool," she wrote.

“I lay there," she wrote, "annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart."

Daniels was likely referring to Toad, the mushroom-headed character from Nintendo's Mario series.

People are really struggling to cope with this news.

Many are ready to log off forever.

Quite a few unfortunate people heard the news when they saw "Mario Kart" was trending.

Could it be a new game? No, no it could not.

This can only end one way and we all know it:

Anyway, I really am sorry to do this to you first thing in the morning. Here's a nice pretty nature pic as a palate cleanser.


1 comment:

  1. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. Contact us